Take My Blood

Please

In college I convinced my friend to give blood. In college there was a regular blood drive at the gym, and once when I mentioned that I was going my friend said he had never been to one. He decided to come along. We checked in, waited, I got to my cot, got jabbed, and started filling my bag. I saw he was being led to another station and was all ready to get going. I checked my own progress, stared into space for a bit. Next I looked over at him he was surrounded by nurses and was breathing into a paper bag. Sorry about that Bill.

I was giving blood the other day and was somewhat shocked by the amount of resources that go into it. Now this isn’t a bad thing as I can’t say I’m interested in having them save money by reusing needles, but I have to wonder what the value on a pint of blood is, based on the materials an labor required to collect and transport it. According to a very brief Goog just now, Red Cross sells it to hospitals for between $180-$300 per pint. Seems low somehow, but maybe they don’t pay their techs much.

When I donate I do what they used to call “doubles” but now call “Power Red”. This means they actually take two units of red cells but return your plasma and whatnot. The sensation of the slightly too cold fluids returning to your bloodstream is quite unpleasant. An odd effect is numbing of the lips, which somehow is alleviated by chewing TUMs. I do this type of donation because my blood type is O-, which means I am very special and probably better than you in at least this aspect. This means I am the Universal Donor, and all may bask in my life-giving force when I deign to drop in at the local American Legion and spray my juices into the healthcare system.

I do recommend giving blood if you find the time. I recognize it is feasible mainly for the unemployed and retired, as evidenced by the age of the other people I see there. If you do manage to find time and not have a panic attack while they are extracting your precious fluid, you will be overcome with that smug satisfaction we get when we do something good for no personal gain. You too can feel superior to the people around you for up to a day and a half. Plus they give you juice and cookies.